Ribbit, I am a Frog.

Things have been getting harder and harder as each day comes.
...and I've been getting more and more upset.

I've been asking myself how it got so bad all day.
How did I not see the shit surrounding me?

It feels like I've gone back to my life when I was 16.
The days when taking an overdose happened so often, no one batted an eyelid.
The days of telling horror stories to the girls at school about my homelife.
The time when I desperately wanted to get married just to get out of prison I called home.
When I didn't care about what I wanted, I just wanted to please my parents so they'd make things easier for me.

The boundaries are being put back into place.
The shift in power is noticeable.
Rules are being brought back from storage and dusted off, ready to be used again.
Curfews are being set once again.

How did I not see any of this? I ask myself.

Then I remember, The Frog Theory.

A frog dropped into boiling water has sense to leap out, but a frog dropped into cold water can be cooked to death before he realises he is in serious trouble.

I didn't notice the small things.
The times when the parents would get slightly pissed off.
The parents telling us to come home a bit early tonight...
I didn't notice the gradual changes... and adapted to their will..
Now I feel like I'm living in a place that's killing my spirit.

I had the most scariest thought today.
I thought to myself, maybe if I stopped speaking to my friends and stopped having a social life, maybe, just maybe, my parents would like me more.
Trust me more..
Lift these ridiculously limits.

But they wouldn't.
Because I'm their middle daughter.

I spent forty five minutes in the bathroom trying to calm myself.
To stop my lips from trembling, my eyes from watering.
To prevent that awful pain in my throat everytime I try not to cry.
After a face wash, I thought I managed.
...I didn't even get into the passage, before I had to hide behind the bathroom door again.
But what's the use in crying?
If I cry every time they upset me, disappoint me, ignore me, I'd draught my eyes.
...and no one likes dry eyes.