okeys, well, i think i should explain the whole RatBoy situation first...
Christmas Eve, i told him straight that i liked him, after messing around for a year..
and he just came out with "I'll leave sorting out our date up to you"
recently, i spoke to him about my birthday...
him : how old you gonna be? 13?
me : lolz, i know i can be childish, but why such a young age?
him : i think it's the curfew...
hmmm... and even more recently, he's been telling me he wants to sleep with me, every time we speak...
I know i don't like his face, cause every so often i have a panic attack about what I'd do when we're face to face, and if *things* happened... but something draws me towards him... but I'm confused, i don't know whether i like him, cause i like him... or i like him cause he flirts with me, and pays attention to me...
Okeys, as well as Ratboy, there's been other guys playing on my mind too.. *blushes*
Being an active member on different online forums, i was chosen to take part in a "Big Brother" valentines thingy... (after nominating myself obviously).... and I became closer to Squidgles, who is like them loyal dogs, who will always cheer you up no matter what... e.g
me : ...but i feel and look like them men from Shrek..him : you'll always be beautiful in my eyes...
as much as we both tried not to act smushy and lovey dovey with each other, it was hard... cause he is genuinely lovely...
K-Bin-Walid... it started off me always chatting about how fit his Mrs was... but then we started talking... and it's odd, how i hardly know anything about him, but we know each others' secretest fantasies... he wants a mistress... a lesbianism mistress... LMAO! it's weird, cause he was like "i don't wanna speak to you anymore, cause things might lead on from one thing to another..." and i just came back with "i don't wanna be a home wrecker" lolz..
he's cute, and he's my girlfriend... and apart from sharing our sexualism stories, there's nothing else...
...Now, Quasimodo...? he's just something else.... yes, again off a forum, [ how socially inept am i?! ] ... and totalllyyyyy older than me... but.... haaaaaiiiiii...
you know??
it's weird, i don't know much about him... but i tell him everything about me..
actually, i do that with everyone... i love myself... oh gawd..
but OMG! quasimodo, is probably one of the fittest REAL people I've *thought* about... (yes, Owais Khan IS real... but not real enough for me to attempt to seduce him)
okeys, with all the horny stuff out the way...
I'll get onto family...
Nani's back in UK... she stayed in my room for a month...
so that meant i went a month without sleep...
My aunties from Germany and Cardiff came and scared me shitless with talk of ghosts... so that added to my sleeping problem... and I'm still trying to fix my sleeping pattern...
Nani's now in either Derby, or Cardiff... but apparently she's coming back the day before my birthday.... great(!) ... i know that sounds horrible...
and i love her to bits...
but it's a bit harder to leave the house when she's there... she asks a lot of questions.. the parents don't...
The parents have made it clear they hate my friends... and I've spent the past 2 months now "friend free"...
I've also stopped going to town, stopped making plans, and i haven't been out to dance for 3 months... (this is gonna stop on my Birthday, cause I'm going out and plan to stay out for aaaages)
The parents want Meme and the Cow to move schools...
I scared Meme into thinking his new school was in Canada
"but i can't speak Canandanian!" lmao!!! haww bless him...
BTW, BREAKING NEWS - I've taken 3 driving lessons finally!!!! JUST before i turn 19 lmao!... it's very scarey, and I've nearly cried twice... but... insha Allah it should get better... i just don't wanna loose any more moneys.... I hope i get cash for prezzies on Friday, it'll help me soo much!
The right side of my face feels fractured, it's probably a toothache..
my first ever tooth/teeth problem (except braces... shhhh!)
I feel like I've been ill for aaages... I caught the flu in late January which made me miss my Psychology Unit 4 paper... GAYNESS! and i just feel like I've not been able to recover, and with the sleep deprivation, the almost depression, the visits from ToM haven't really helped....
but... i feel good...
5 more days of being 8teen...
I'll make them good!
If i don't blog before Friday then...
Giti, Happy 19th Birthday...
#...Baar baar din yeh aye,
Baar baar dil yeh gaye,
tu jiye hazaaro saal
yeh meri hai arzoo...#
