Khalas.

I've finished.
My A Levels, the bitch of my life, it's all over.

What an emotional day it was yesterday.
Spanish written, being the most hardest topic to revise for and do, i found my eyes getting teary every other minute.
I woke up several times in the night during the week, fearing the spanish exam, not the other exams i had during that week... Just the Spanish one.
The morning of the exam I woke up three hours early and I thought I'd get a case of the runs, I had to take 3 Kalms tablets, eat a banana and tried to force myself back to sleep.
I then decided to pleasure myself and see if that got rid of the feeling. No, it didn't. My exhaustion and stress lead me to use no effort at all, and so even though I had just started to excite my nether regions, I decided it would be no good for a bully wank now.

I went to college at 9, and I found my breathing becoming shallow and my tear ducts working again. I rushed to the library, and had a good cry.
This wasn't tears of me never going back to college, it was tears of pure fear.
I don't know how I lasted till 1pm, but I managed to relax a little and even eat.

Do you know what? It was a waste, the questions were general and I blagged for all I was worth and even managed to get in some dates and quotes. So, hopefully, I'm still right in hoping for an A.

So, on August 16th, I am expecting BBE, but I'm hoping for AAD...

And no, there's no more resits after this. Thank God for that!

...The Deep-Nessy Story...

...The sun fell between the leaves of the big tree and dappled across her face, highlighting her eyelashes as she slowly fluttered her eyes and finally closed them again. She lay under the tree, on her front with her head rested on her crossed arms. She welcomed the rays of sunshine that bell in between the leaves and on her bare skin…
Deep leant back against the tree and continued to caress her foot with an ear of corn. He moved it gingerly up and down the sole of her foot, hardly letting the little fibres touch her skin. The sudden contact would surprise and tickle her, making her curl her toes and let out a giggle…
She was spending the weekend in a countryside cottage, which was her idea of Hell. However, it turned out that she felt as if she were in paradise; with the warm sun massaging her back, the smell of freshly cut grass and lack of noise awakening her senses… & Deep’s company…
He could see the smug look on her face as she smiled to herself, and his own lips curled into a smile. He was in a playful mood and wanted her to wake up from her daydream. He got on all fours and crawled towards her, so that he was able to look at the freckles on her bronzed back. He gently blew on her neck, knowing it would stir her from her peaceful state. She let out a small gasp and shrugged her shoulders to reveal a curve in her back, starting from the bottom of her neck to where her dress started. Even through the thin white material, he could see that it ended at her lower back. Feeling mischievous, he stroked the ear down the curve; making her squirm more the lower he moved it. He stopped abruptly when he reached the bottom, allowing her to move to a more comfortable position to play with him, but she curled her legs under her and went back to daydreaming in the sun.
Deep wasn’t satisfied, the sight of her exposed mocha coloured skin was creating thoughts in his mind, which resulted in a rapid increase in size at his crotch.
He reached over to the basket of fruit and brought a grape to his lips. He bit into the deep red fruit, releasing its juices. He placed the sweet, soft, pink flesh between his lips and pressed his body against hers as he reached over for her arm. He kissed her slowly up the arm, letting the juice from the grape fall on her skin. The feeling of each droplet on her bare skin felt intense as she squeezed her eyes shut and felt him throbbing against the small of her back. Deep began to use his tongue to gently flick the juice off her and she responded by letting out a barely audible moan.
He took this as a sign of approval and continued sucking and licking the juice up her arm. He got to Nessy’s neck and reached around, underneath her, to her other shoulder and turned her over, so that she was lying on her back.
She unhurriedly opened her eyes to look at him, her fingers delicately tracing the contours of his chest, his breath softly moving the hairs around her neck. She let out a sigh, and then smiled, only to find Deep smirking at her. Nessy tenderly smoothed her finger over his bottom lip, using her other hand to slowly bring his face closer to hers. She closed her eyes and tasted the cocoa butter lip balm that she had forced on him a few hours ago. Her lips massaged his bottom lip, whilst playing with his earlobe between her index and middle finger. Deep attempted to use his tongue, when she turned her face and pushed him away. She smiled coyly and bit her bottom lip, only making him get more frustrated.
With no warning, like a vampire, he went for her neck making her writhe and squirm under all the pressure, she arched her back and dragged her nails down his back. She felt herself pulsate between her legs and moved her hands back to his chest, her hands feeling their way under his shirt, her nails lightly passing over his navel. Whilst moving further down with his kisses, Deep guided her hand down his trousers gently, holding her hand in his, together they wrapped their hands around his shaft. He let go of her hand and started stroking her thigh, making her grip him a bit tighter. He pushed her dress up higher, and parted her legs slightly; he then carried on letting his finger flutter against her skin, travelling inwards and upwards until he reached her knickers.
She released her grip and moved her fingers up towards his snail trail and lightly tickled his skin, hoping that by doing so, Deep would follow suit. Her black-netted knickers were becoming damp, and she felt there to be a warmth trying to rise up outside of her; she yearned for his fingers to brush the material to one side, and finally, dance inside her. Deep gently traced the patterns of the butterflies on her knickers, lightly, with hardly any pressure, so that his fingers couldn’t be felt on her skin, just the movement of the material. Nessy inhaled and bit her lip, her nails slightly scraping his skin, she tried hard to keep her eyes open but they refused to obey her mind and were tightly shut. His thumb rubbed at the butterfly that was situated directly on top the opening of her lips, making her whimper and raise her lower body towards him; she desperately wanted him to touch her pounding sweet spot. His fingers ran up the net, and he played with the pink satin ribbon, making it rub against the skin on her tummy. He tucked a finger under the waistline and felt the contrast of textures between the satin ribbon at the waistline and the net; he enjoyed seeing her crave him to be inside her and carried on playing with the fabric whilst watching her facial muscles tense and crumple up if he accidentally let his fingers glide over her skin.
Unsatisfied with the way things were going, Nessy curled her fingers around his sack, and tightened her grip, making him flinch his hands away from her. She looked at him under her creased forehead, her eyes strong and dark – she meant business. She traced her fingers back up from under his pants, to his chest up to his neck… she massaged his jaw and nibbled on his bottom lip… Her hand forced his down under her knickers; she felt relieved and let go of his lips and let her pleasure be known by moaning loudly....

Cauli....

Okeys, before I say anything...
*pounce attack*

Cauli, I hope it doesn't even get to the stage where you are given the 3 year sentence...
I really am holding on to that hope.
I still don't understand what actually happened, even though you've explained several times...
I don't know what to say or do, except to pray to whatever/whoever's out there that it all goes well for you.

If things don't go our way, then I know you have a lot of friends on the inside, I hope they take care of you.

I know I should tell you this, but I get all embarassed and shy everytime I try... but... I admire you a lot and I have a lot of respect for you, Cauli. You're one of the very few people who hasn't judged me, despite of my actions and your strong beliefs. I respect you too much to call you a girlfriend, you are indeed my Cauli... and you're very special to me...
I wish one day I could tell you that, rather than a quick "pounce attack" on msn and a "I lobe you"... but that's how Giti is.

I've messaged you on Facebook with my number, let me know what happens.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers smelly.
Love you.
x

Phone-sitting...

He tells you he'll call you some time, you both smile, say bye, and walk off.
That's when it starts, the annoying impulses to look at your phone every 5 to 10 seconds. The urge to always have your phone on hand, just in case. The desire to be alone in your room, free from noise and distraction, all ready and set for when he calls.
When he finally does call, it's an almost disappointment.

"Hey, thought I'd just call and say 'Hi'."
"That was nice of you, how are you?"
"Yea I'm cool. Listen hunny, I'm going to have to shoot off for a while, I'll call later."

The excitement that had risen from the pit of your stomach to your throat and made you jump up and down and fan yourself before answering the call only seconds ago, slowly gurgles back down your oesophagus into the gastric juices of your belly.
You waited all that time to talk to him, and you had so much to say, and you even planned how to say it all without coming on too strong... and he had to go. Obviously not his fault, but still, he had to go. And it happens time and time again.
A little cycle.

With circumstances like how they are, you're not able to meet up with him as often as you'd like, and so you're reduced to waiting by the phone for his call.
No, you're not a scab, you do call him, but he's a bit more busier than you and he insists he calls you cause he has a nifty business phone contract with a kajillion minutes.

Usually, he makes up for the disappointing phone calls during the day, by calling at night whilst he's unwinding for his bed-time. A conversation lasts between 20 minutes to 2 or 3 hours. You speak more than him, but then he starts telling you a bed time story and suddenly you find yourself mute. Only making barely audible noises to show that you're enjoying the creation of his imagination. After reaching the climax of the story (sometimes even before that!), you both start slurring your speech and talk utter nonsense to each other.
A "you smell" or "you're cute" will slip out , either form you or him, and then you know it's time to put the phone down. He says he'll call you in the morning, and a tiny bit of excitement starts to fizz already inside you. You sleep lightly that night, not wanting to miss his call in the morning.

One day, when you wake up at 5:46am to check your phone for any missed calls from him, you realise he's employed you on a voluntary basis for the position of the phone-sitter. What makes it weird is, it's your phone you have to "sit", not his, or a flashy company phone.

It's OK though, the non-financial benefits are good. Lots of cuddling, fondling and a whole lot of smooching. Best of all, he makes you feel special. It's all good.

Changes...

A lot has happened since my last blog post...
Here's the summary (I have an exam tomorrow, so I can't go into much detail)

• I've finally finished college (well I'm sitting exams at the moment, and I finish those on Friday, but I've finished my A2 course. Yay me!)
• Mambo is legally married, now.
• MuMu had that stint with MoustacheBoy
• We've all noticed what Mehbooba is really like.. A young girl who wants to be liked by others, so will do anything to please them i.e. suffocate them!
• I've got a few pairs of heels now, a short skirt, and some very revealing tops.
• Religion is almost like Quantum Physics to me: I don't understand it. I've decided to back away from anything religious. And no! I'm not converting to Hinduism or Sikhism, I never would. They're cool religions, but they're not me.
• After learning about schizophrenia, well just the basics, I've diagnosed myself to suffer form some clinical characteristics of this disorder. Quasimodo has helped me realise I have multiple personalities... Oh and Dr. Pooh Cow has said that I show signs of depersonalisation and derealisation - characteristics of psychosis.
• Quasimodo and I went on a date. Being a wizard, he made magic happen. No, I'm still single... but as SimLew would say "We be feelin' each ovver".
• Facebook is possibly the best thing made on the net.
• My friendship with MuMu and MiMi is going from strength to strength.
• I think the awkwardness has left me and TV... We're able to chat about ANYTHING! (except, I haven't told him about Quasimodo yet).
• K-Bin-Walid? He wants to meet up... He says he might almost fancy me... His wifey likes me... I think he's pretty alright... but, my conscience beats me up with a metal stick every time I think of doing anything with him.
• Nani left for Bangladesh in April... I miss her... She was a G.
• My computer's Internet died. So I had to buy a new computer. It has Vista on it. It's crap!
• I'm no longer unemployed. I have a part time job in retail.
• Mambo may be pregnant... We shall see after July 2nd, what actually happens.
• I kissed MuMu and groped her. She kissed me back. I creamed myself and had to sneak off to another room to feel better.
• I'm flirting with a gross guy. SpandexBoi. I don't even know why. I don't even want to. But it's too easy to mess with him.
• I'm thinking of going into Modelling.
• I'm also thinking of maybe doing a postgrad course in journalism or something media related.
• My dad's decided that I should go into local Politics.
• I've finally released my inner bitch, she goes by the name of Nessy.

I'm now going to wait by my phone for a call from Quasimodo, before I go to sleep in order to wake up fresh and revise a whole module for Psychology.

Good luck to those who are still doing exams, hopefully your hard work will pay off. Keep yourselves happy with the thought that it's not too long till you're free. Whoo!