Peaks and Troughs...

The past two days have been the first time I haven't had to worry about work (much), or family.
I've been able to be myself, and have fun for myself.

Yes. I saw The HunchBack.
I spent the night with him... but that's not the only reason for my being ever so happy.

I met up with a few other people.
...and I loved their company.
Tuesday, I was treated to Pizza Express, a walk down South Bank, and I was taken to Tate Modern... which I was a bit disappointed by, there weren't so many things that caught my attention, and even then, there weren't many pieces that were interesting or could be interpreted in a fun way.
But, hey, I saw a hairy muff.
That's got to say something!

Alchi was absolutely lovely.
I genuinely enjoyed his company, and didn't have evil thoughts in my head.
Not like when I met up with KbW on Wednesday morning... I was regretting asking him to meet me.
It pissed me off that he was still trying it on, when I was crying into his shoulder.
Yea.

Oh, before I forget.
...because I will.
I saw a Chandler/Matthew Perry Look A Like.
I also saw Mme. Douglas.
She didn't know who I was.
She obviously hates me. I remembered on my way home that she used to give us a months' worth of work to do in one night.
I never used to do them well.

I also went to the o2...
Watched a movie, watched people, watched myself dance...
I really enjoyed myself.
Ma protegé was absolutely amazing. She reminds me of my younger self so much.
But, with self-belief, determination and a direction.

...and yes, seeing the HunchBack was beautiful.
We went for Maki, Ice Creams and a walk under the London Eye...
Even someone like me, who hates Romance, appreciated the beauty of being with someone you have feelings for in the middle of a buzzing crowd, music of so many different styles, people of diferent ages, walks of life etc... Yet, for the first time, you don't people watch.
You're so into what's going on with you.

I hardly slept.
Well, whenever I did finally manage to drift off, I'd feel him between my legs again.
I'm not complaining, though; it was Heaven.
For a few hours, I was free.
I had no neurotic thoughts, no worries, no doubts... I wasn't thinking in the past or the future.
I was just being in the moment.
...and I experienced that moment with Quasi.

We discussed what we'd name our child if I fell pregnant. We discussed what options I would have, and that we should run away and get married.
All nothing but talk...
But, for a girl like me, the butterflies in my tummy just wouldn't settle.
Resulting in my not being able to stomach breakfast.

I told him about my OD story.
...it took everything in me not to cry and break down in his arms.
He told me how he had faith in me, and how he saw big things in store, if only I put my enthusiasm and love into whatever I do.
I have friends who say I'm capable of grand things, but it's all a bit superficial when people say thigns like that.
Even if it is Kenan.
Maybe I'm wearing Rose Coloured Sparkly Shades, but Quasi's conviction seemed genuine and heartfelt.

I spent most of Wednesday weeping.
..because I realised I still had hope.

I called him when I got home, to let him know I wasn't abducted by aliens.
He was out grabbing a bite to eat, and said he'd call later.
He did.
I was half asleep.
He turned cold.

It doesn't help when people like Grumpster and Pop are upset that you forgot to even think of them.
...and they don't even want to hear your apology, they just want you to suffer.
Well, congratulations.

An incredible high ended with a sharp low.