...Lesbianism...

The dreaded thought...
It's a big no no in Asian Culture...

Actually, anything related even slightly to sexual relations is a no no...

Since i was young, my parents both drummed into my skulls
"boys = bad... friendships with boys = bad... relationships which could lead to sexual stuff = murder"... lolz!
They put me and my older sister in all girls' private institute, not only cause the academic standards were AMAZING (back then!! not now!), but they used it as a barrier between us and guys...
but it's kinda like the forbidden fruit thingy...
You tell us not to do it, we'll do it even more..

Hence, why i have a list of a kajillion guys (yes, i exagerate) who i've talked to, fantasised about, made out with...
Even though i was filled with guilt (and i still am, seeing as i'm still carrying on hvaing male friends and flirting away more than ever these days) it felt good.. cause i got what i was not to have...

But there was period when i was anti-guy.... my parents had brainwashed me so i thought "eeeurgh guys!"... if i spoked to a guy, it was in the brotherly sense...
My parents had acheived their goal of puttin me off guys, but in doing so, they pushed me towards thinking about girls in a sexual manner...
Going to an all girls' school, i saw sooo many tits, ass and nether regions *rolls eyes*... and we were reallly open with each other, we'd cup each others boobs and compare sizes, we'd sit on top of each other, we'd give each other massages... It was all done in innocence, but as i grew a bit older, i realised that i began to think about women more and more and not in a "haww she's soo perddddyy" way.. it was more of a "OMG! SHE'S FITTT" way...

For a long time, i thought i was the only Asian girl who thought like this, but i've noticed so many other girls are like this too... They may joke around pretending to be lesbian, but when asked they show their disgust...
but you'd have to have some sort of those desires to know HOW to pretend to be lesbianistic...

Now, I've gone back to my guys... and i'm loving it...
but it doesn't mean that i don't cream myself when i see a really beautiful woman showing her flesh...
I just worry about all these other girls, who will undoubtedly be pushed from one extreme to the other... Parents need to stop FORCING their kids not to do stuff; otherwise they'll push them to two sides :
a)the minute they make something illegal, the more desireable it becomes...
b)make them hate something soo much, they go to the alternative...

I've gone through both, and even though i got a lot of considerable pleasure from them... i wouldn't want other girls to have to be put through all that, just to discover that they actually just wanna be normal and be like how Allah intended them to be...